I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
