So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i just sent this text using only my big toe
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
