I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
