Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
