There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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