im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
