the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
The feeling are messing with the penis
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
