Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
