watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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