your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Moan for me like Helen Keller
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
