I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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