so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
