You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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