Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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