dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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