I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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