Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
my being single is dangerous.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
