Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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