I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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