when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
NoShamevember. You game?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
