Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
