Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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