my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
