This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
