So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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