Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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