On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
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