Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
