Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I know her cup size but not her name....
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