so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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