The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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