It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
