So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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