I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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