I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
