yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
