it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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