I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
