Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
