The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
