when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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