he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
did you just send me my own nude
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
