i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
