He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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