so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
