Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Randomize
