How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
