You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
