the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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