if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize