If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
